A guide for church leaders, pastoral carers and all who seek to walk alongside those who struggle.
As leaders, we are called to walk with compassion and truth alongside those who struggle. Addictive and life-controlling behaviours are not confined to the world outside the church; they are part of the human experience of brokenness. This guide encourages a grace-filled, biblical approach – helping us reflect Christ’s heart as we listen, support, and lead others toward lasting freedom (Galatians 6:1 -2; John 1 :14).
1. Level the playing field
Remember that we all have struggles. Approach conversations as a fellow pilgrim in need of grace, not as a fixer or judge (Galatians 6:1-2).
2. Listen before you speak
Allow space for stories to unfold without interruption. Listening deeply communicates value and begins to rebuild trust often broken by shame.
3. Create safety, not shame
Avoid labels or language that reinforce stigma. Speak with compassion and protect confidentiality to create a safe environment for honesty.
4. Recognise the spiritual battle
Addiction is not just a behavioural issue but a heart struggle (Romans 7: 15-25). Lead others to rely on Christ’s transforming power, not self-effort.
5. Focus on relationship, not results
Healing comes through connection, not correction. Offer consistency, presence, and prayer rather than quick fixes.
6. Encourage small steps
Sanctification is gradual (Philippians 1 :6). Celebrate each step forward and gently help the person see God’s ongoing work.
7. Avoid ‘them and us’ language
Use ‘we’ language: ‘We all rely on grace.’ Equality in conversation removes barriers and mirrors Christ’s humility.
8. Keep truth and grace together
Speak truth about sin and consequence, but wrap it in compassion (John 1 :14). The aim is restoration, not exposure.
9. Pray with them, not just for them
Invite the person to pray with you. This models dependence on God and reminds both of you that healing belongs to Him.
10. Point them toward hope and help
Remind them that freedom is possible through Christ (John 8:36). Connect them with safe, grace-based recovery support.
Discussion and Application
• How can our church culture make it easier for people to be honest about their struggles?
• What attitudes or language might unintentionally create distance or shame?
• How can leaders model humility and grace in conversations about addiction?
• What small, practical steps could we take to ensure our church is a safe place for the broken?
• Who in our congregation might we invite into deeper, grace-based support work?
Suggested Scripture Readings:
Galatians 6: 1 -2 • Romans 7: 15-25 • Philippians 1 :6 • John 8:36 • James 5: 16
Closing Prayer
Lord Jesus, give us gentle hearts and wise words. Help us walk humbly beside those who struggle, seeing them as You see them – precious, redeemable, and deeply loved. Teach us to carry one another’s burdens with grace and truth. Amen.
Sally Childress
Co-founder and Resource Developer Free! Recovery with her husband John
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