So you've made it to Christmas Eve...
So you’ve made it to Christmas Eve, you are either with close family, friends or going to be tomorrow. You have pretty fluctuating emotions; some of you might be wishing you were at home, isolating and others of you have looked forward to this time. Howevr, navigating all the conflicting emotions alongside others is proving more challenging than you thought.
This piece takes 5 themes of Free! Recovery. Each one comes a relevant thought to put into practice.
We end each session of the 10 week course with encouragement to keep talking to God. Then we have a blessing and I wish you the blessing of a really special Christmas; it might be messy but walking it with God can be so rewarding. I am reminding myself as I write this…
Life is Out of Control
Things can spiral out of control very quickly when it comes to family gatherings at Christmas. One good thing to do is not set expectations too high. Then if things do get messy and uncomfortable the fall isn’t so far. An important thought for me is is to simply remember who I am; I am a child of God. That is my identity and if I know and believe in Christ, no-one can snatch that away from me or you.
I still struggle at times, walking in the freedom of Christ. I know that the spiral downwards begins when I take my thoughts and eyes off my Rescuer, Jesus. When I take back control is when life goes out of control. I need to talk to Him, tell Him everything, ask for His help and admit that I can’t walk this life without His help and lordship. There is only one God and it isn’t me.
Relapse
There is a danger of relapse at these times. There is so much around us, what we see and sense. This together with being with people who have known our weaknesses and life-controlling struggles. Again identity is so important. A vital thought is to stand firm and say, “I am a child of God and with Christ’s help I don’t do that anymore.” I try to remember the good path I have been on and remember where the voice to use is coming from. It is not God, Christ or the Holy Spirit.
Triggers and Temptations
It is for freedom that Christ has set you free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1
I don’t know about you but I have to face my triggers and temptations before I go into Christmas. I start by talking to God and a good encouraging thought to put into play is to ask a friend to pray alongside and be available over the Christmas season. This is a time of year when the temptation to act out can become very strong. I remind myself that temptation is not sin, but the next step or look might be. It is important for me to have a plan; if food is the issue, (it often is for me) work out a sensible plan with flexibility. If alcohol is the life-controlling issue, ask that the time that you are with family/friends be non-alcoholic (you may have to make tough choices if this is not a possibility). There are also those times, when you or I might feel isolated or actually alone. To avoid your/my flavour of temptation; we may need a friend, or a group of friends to work this out with us.
Enjoy games away from the computer, possibly creating new links with family; have some fresh air and create new habits. I know I am looking forward to some long walks, I do so hope the weather is good.
Idol Worship
The fourth session of Free! is on idols, the things that mean so much to us, which occupy our thoughts most of the time. These tend to get in the way of our life with God, even preventing us believing in Him in the first place. We often ask the question: “what is the first thought you had this morning, the last thought at night?” Could this be linked with your addictive, life-controlling habit? Sometimes going into triggering situations it is important to recognise these thoughts before going. For example; I know when my family says something about my weight of controlling nature, it is a deep rooted trigger. A significant preparatory thought is to think through how to respond, and not immediately react. Some ideas; a smile, refusing to engage, internally reminding myself that I am a child of God, a new creation and I am not that same person anymore, even if my family keeps on putting me inside that box again and again. Not easy but it is helpful to maintain peace.
Being Thankful
Our fifth session is on thankfulness. The key verse for this session is deeply challenging.
Rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
The challenging thought here is finding something to be thankful for even if the circumstances are not what you expected or wanted.
I remember a time in my life when a particular life controlling thought habit had got out of control; the desire for a special man in my life led to many wild thoughts over and over again. I would try to capture these thoughts and talk to God about them, but I would be tempted and relapse time again into old ways of thinking because my desire had become an idol.
One of the ways out of this way of destructive thinking was to thank God for what I did have, the friends, family, life that He had given me. I also began to trust God for a husband and leave the desire with Him. This does take practice. I began to discover a new joy in life apart from this out of control desire.
This Christmas thank God for what you do have…and trust Him with the deep desires of your heart.
Sally Childress
Child of God, John's husband and Co-founder of Free! Recovery. Author of 70 day Ponder Action Prayer Challenge