Nobody will know...
One of the many things we often discuss in Free! Recovery is why and how we are so tempted to indulge our addictive or life-controlling behaviours. This is not a unique occurrence for any of us, or Christians as a whole, but as we have discovered together, it can be overwhelming at times, also a common source of frustration, and deeply undermines our journey.
Temptation to indulge or use is often associated with lies that we hear either internally or from outside sources.
There are those lies that we tell ourselves, and lies we hear from others about ourselves. Lies such as: “one more time won’t matter”, or “nobody will know”, or “it’s my life I can do what I want, when I want, because I want to do it”, and many more. These are deceptive thoughts, and they attempt to lure us away from the path of recovery, the path of freedom.
Accusations...
On Free!, we look at something we refer to as ‘the lies we believe’. These can be the accusations, deceptive thoughts and lies in our head as we struggle with temptations, especially as we start developing a deeper relationship with God. These lies are already embedded in our minds from all kinds of different sources.
In our daily experience, those deceptive thoughts and lies can be thoughts that condemn us and tell us how useless we are, what failures we are, how loathsome we are, that stoke up that sense of condemnation and fear that afflicts so many of us.
These deceptive thoughts are also particularly evident for those of us who struggle with any level of depression. They convince us that life is bleak and that there is no hope.
Some of us may overestimate our ability to overcome our addictive issues. This can also be a lie that we believe, for example, “I don’t need to go to my group tonight, I can do this by myself.”
Here are some more of the lies we may hear:
‘It’s my life, I’m not hurting anyone’
‘It’s no big deal, most people are doing it’
‘Just one more time and then I’ll stop’
‘It’s something I have to do, it’s the way I’m made’
‘You’re not doing yourself any harm’
‘God knows what you’re really like. Why would he want anything to do with you?’
‘You’re not good enough for God’
‘You’re such a failure and a hypocrite’
‘ I feel so worthless!’
We are all familiar with the deceptive thoughts in our heads, but what are they, and where do they come from?
Temptation/Triggers
We all know what it is like to give in to temptation. We are all familiar with that scenario that you sometimes see in cartoons where there is a person with a devil sitting on one shoulder and an angel on the other. A conversation ensues between the devil and the angel, which goes back and forth like a tennis match until the increasingly confused and hapless individual in the middle eventually attempts to choose between good and evil.
Addiction is exactly the same; it’s just like everyday temptation, only the physical stakes are higher. Being proud and unloving is unlikely to physically kill you; but alcohol and drugs very possibly will.
While it is true that we use our compulsive behaviour of choice to mask and medicate a deep sense of unease and anxiety. This is often rooted in painful memories and resentments, that may go all the way back to incidents in our childhood. The primary reason we use our addiction of choice is because it gives us pleasure, or in some cases, relieves the pain, for a short time.
There is a war going on which makes capturing your thoughts both a challenge and a vital component of your walk in Jesus.
In 2 Corinthians 10:5, Paul urges us to, “… take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ”.
To take captive every thought we have to recognize what is happening in our thought life and the interaction of the flesh, the world and the devil is significant here.
The enemy of our souls is ruthless using thoughts and emotions, to convince us into using our life controlling behaviours. If you decide that something you are being tempted to do is something you don’t really want to do, you will almost instantaneously hear more deceptive thoughts persuading you why it would be a good idea for you to continue. As John Calvin says; sin, the flesh and the devil. We are in a war with all of these!
It takes time to recognise deceptive thoughts and lies. We have become comfortable with these lies. They have become a part of our thinking over many years. It is anything – images, feelings, thoughts – that encourage you to use, encourages you to rebel against God, encourages you to sin.
There is a war going on which makes capturing your thoughts both a challenge and a vital component of your walk in Jesus.
Part of you wants to quit, but another part of you would like to continue… Why? Because you enjoy it. Part of you hates what your addiction is doing to you and part of you doesn’t like the idea of never using again, you like the feelings and/or release from anxiety. For some of you, who struggle with thought patterns such as obsessive compulsive issues or codependency, the same can be true. Achieving the objective of your thoughts can have the same sense of relief. That extra hand wash, or that person really notices you. Even, as with most addictive journeys, shame and guilt can be a later consequence.
‘Those deceptive thoughts and lies’ together with your fleshly desires are trying to tempt you.
There is a painful pruning process going on here. A real struggle. We try to hold on to self but Jesus is trying to conform our character to his.
As soon as we recognize the lies, tempting us to use, we are confronted with a choice. Do I surrender this thought and allow it to be captured in Christ or do I allow the thoughts to spiral out of control and end up using with the blame shame and guilt that goes alongside all of this?
‘Satan’ is ruthless. He cares nothing for you and wants only one thing – to destroy you, either physically or spiritually, and preferably both, and, if you are a believer in Jesus, to nullify your witness.
1 Peter 5:8 says, “Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
In John 10:10, Jesus says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
John and Sally Childress
Co-founders of Free! Recovery.
These excerpts are a part of the Free! webinar; The Battleground of the Mind.
Check out the next presentation at www.free-recovery.org/events/